My next requested blog is a little lighter than the last one- I’ll leave this one anonymous, only because I totally am not sure how this person feels about their ex, however this would be my reaction to the question asked… feel free to let me know what you would do.
So, you’re sitting at home relaxing. Your phone rings. It’s your ex. You are not sure whether or not you really feel like talking to him, you contemplate just hitting the “fuck you” button.
Fuck- you hit the damn green button instead of the red one! ( the red one we all know is the “fuck you” button)
Now your left with two choices, one, you speak to him, two, you pretend he got your voicemail and you instantly turn in to that annoying voice you hear on other people’s phones, “you’ve reached blah blah blah, please leave a message at the beep”
Except now you’ve waited just a hair to long thinking about it, so you have to speak! You say hello. Hello. How are you? Great! That’s good! I need to ask you a favor. A favor ?(thinking to yourself ) I’m not even sure I want to be speaking to you or even like you, but you want to ask me for a favor ? Okay, sure, what’s the favor ?
You hold your breath, what could he possibly want ? Does he need money ? Is he in jail? ( no he can’t be, he didn’t call collect- thank God! ), does he need a ride somewhere ?
He takes so long to say anything you have to ask him again, okay, what’s the favor?
Please don’t say no, I know how much you love animals and I really need you to say yes!
Well, my girlfriends mom, well, we had to put her into a nursing home. We didn’t want to but it was the best thing for her.
Well, she has a cat, and well I know how much you really really really love animals.
Well, do you think you could possibly find it in your heart , because I know how much you really really really love animals, to take the cat and keep it, and love it, and feed it , because I know how much you really really really love animals ?!?
Umm… so …
I know you really really really really love animals ….
Ummmm … so… you want me to take in your girlfriends moms cat, to keep it , love it, and feed it ??? Because you know how much I really really really love animals ? ( thinking to yourself, “I’m not sure if I like them that much at this point, what do I say? What do I do? Fuck how do you explain this to people … oh yeah that’s my ex husbands girlfriends moms cat, I took it in to keep it, love it, and feed it, because she’s in a nursing home, and although I don’t like him very much, I just really really really really LOVE animals”)
Sure okay… bring me the cat.
Fuck, I really really really love animals !